Waiting for the Next Moment -- Part 18

Why is the next moment going to be better than this one?

At least, that is how we behave most of the time. We've talked about red lights. How about the elevator?

If Heaven is not in the moment you press the button, if Heaven is not in the moment the door opens, if Heaven is not in the elevator as you travel to your floor...

Then where is Heaven?

Goodbyes -- Part 17

Saying goodbyes and making it sacred.

Avoiding the sadness identification, enjoying the connection with what comes and goes, but no attachment.

Amazing how the comparing comes up! This is different from that. As opposed to this. It was a beginning. Now it is over.

Thank you.

Om Namah Shivaya

Complaining -- Part 16

We continue our theme!

Complaining is the way we strengthen the ego.

I'm not talking about asking someone to correct a mistake. "Actually, I wanted that one, not this one. Could you switch them?"

This becomes complaining when you can't let it go at that. You chastise the person. You tell and re-tell the story to friends and even strangers.

Customer Service research shows that when you have a positive experience you tell 4 people and if you have a negative one you tell 16. I bet these numbers are different now! With the internet you can post your bad experience and share with millions!

When I worked for eBay we would often get a request for a way to sort the feedback by the negative so they could all be in one place. Egos tend to respond to other egos, and complaining, negaivity, conflich...they are interesting to the ego. Peace and calm are not.

Any complaints?

Aerobics for the Ego -- Part 15

It really is a kind of theme of these Deadly Sins. They are all ways of making the ego stronger. When we identify with them.

We're going to do it, we're going to compare, for example. I think someone once said "All comparisons are odious." Maybe it was me in an earlier post, but John Lydgate in his Debate between the horse, goose, and sheep, circa 1440 is the first recorded use. Shakespeare even uses it in Much Ado About Nothing.

We're in good company!

When we compare we are of necessity in the past. Otherwise, there is nothing to which to compare the present moment. But really, at the time of the comparison, the NOW in which we find ourselves has nothing to do with either of the things being compared.

You go out to dinner to a favorite restaurant. In most cases something will be different from the way you remembered the last visit. And the comparison starts. Either this visit was better than the last or not as good. Rarely does the mind settle for "sameness" because mind made ego is always looking for more. More better. More worse.

Comparing -- Part 14

This post isn't as good as the last post.

This blog isn't as current as some other blogs I've read. I wish I could update every day like some other bloggers do.

I'm doing better by remaining present than I did when I was more concerned about past and future.

I feel better these days because I've been getting more exercise than in the past.

Is comparing the only way to live?

Accidents -- Part 13

Have you ever been in a car accident? What's the first thing your Mind starts doing? I mean after it's all over and you're sitting there waiting for the police.

Most of us start assigning blame. Either blaming the other person, the mailbox, that bush that hid the mailbox...sometimes we even blame ourselves. Rare, but we do.

How long until the blaming starts getting downright operatic? That's where the "if only" scenarios come in. If only I had not stopped for that latte, I wouldn't have crashed into this guy.

Like in the movie "Sliding Doors" where the heroine's life splits into two different stories based on whether or not she misses her train.

These mind games are perfect fodder for hours of pointless thinking.

Red Lights -- Part 12

You're late! We're all late from time to time. How do we react? Do we blame it on another driver, a wrong turn, bad directions, unreasonable traffic? How about that red light that never seems to change?

Red lights are a wonderful opportunity to practice presence. Mostly we approach them as a pause or a delay in our trip. They are certainly that as far as Mind is concerned.

So we wait. And when we wait we waste. We waste the precious present moment, the only thing there ever is...because we are waiting to get to the next moment. The one where we can take our foot off the brake and accelerate forward. On to the destination!

What ever happened to "It's The Journey That Matters, Not The Destination.?"

Blaming -- Part 11

Watch it!

To begin, just notice when you blame something on something else. It's perfectly normal and natural. And very destructive to our peace.

I'm not saying that you should not try to figure out the root cause of something you wish to change. Let's say you're on a diet, losing weight quite nicely. Then you hit a plateau!

Was it a change you made? Did you substitute Coke for Diet Coke? Or is it just the naturally occurring pause that most weight loss takes? It helps to know. Even if it turns out to be a co-worker tempting you with a home baked muffin every morning.

But our reaction is what counts. If it has negative energy behind it, look out! "Ah-hah! They are out to sabotage my success! I'll fix them!!"

This is blaming at its most potent.

Naming Leads to Blaming -- Part 10

Many meditators have experienced the difficulty: you are trying to "meditate" and be present when you suddenly find yourself thinking. A typical instruction is to simply notice, "thinking" and then move back to being present.

Naming this activity, however, often leads the meditator to blame the thinking or label it "bad." Pema Chodron has remarked that we need to train with gentleness so that the noticing does not lead to strong Naming and then Blaming ourselves for not staying present.

"Oh, there I go again, I can't meditate, I keep thinking!" By naming the activity we have found ourselves blaming it and ourselves. Stop the madness!

Noticing Naming -- Part 9

Awareness is a key to unlocking the door into Presence.

When do we name? Notice!

For a lot of us, driving is a wonderful opportunity to notice. Do we Name or Label the drivers we see? Idiot! Jerk! Slowpoke! Speed Demon! Notice!

Do we Name that Red Light "Too Long!" Notice!

When you Notice, congratulations are in order. Not recriminations.

We all do it. But awareness is the key.

Back to Naming -- Part 8

Consider the tree.

Walking with a dear friend, we stop in front of a tree. It's a tree all right! That is its name. It doesn't think, "I am a tree." It just is.

We start to wonder. What kind of tree is this? I watch the tree dissolve into our minds as we discuss the possibilities.

When we analyze the thing, we usually kill it.

Staying Present -- Part 7

Just a side note here: if you can stay present in this distracting world, Peace will prevail inside you. Avoiding these Sins of Naming, Blaming, Comparing, and Complaining will help keep you present.

What a great present, no?

Naming -- Part 6

In his groundbreaking work, A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle writes: "This is most people's reality: As soon as something is perceived, it is named...You do not awaken spiritually until the compulsive and unconscious naming ceases, or at least until you become aware of it..."

There's the good news: since it feels quite impossible to cease the naming we are given a workable alternative. Awareness.

And that's the key to it all: Awareness. Presence. Peace.

What about when Naming feels right?

It usually does, at least to the simple self. That part of us that is totally immersed in the simple forms of this world. The part of us which has a Name.

Is it any wonder that our Name-self loves to Name?

Four Other Deadly Sins -- Part 5

Naming
Blaming
Comparing
Complaining

These four are ones I have chosen because I have noticed a theme in Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Wayne Dyer -- writers who have a similar resonance -- and I have observed that when I "commit" one of these I am less in my true self and more in my Ego.

I am less present.

I am less peaceful.

Let's explore them!

The Finger Pointing at the Moon -- Part 4

“All instruction is but a finger pointing to the moon; and those whose gaze is fixed upon the pointer will never see beyond. Even let him catch sight of the moon, and still he cannot see its beauty.” — Buddha

Please keep the Buddha's "pointer of pointers" in mind while reading these words and all that follow.

I'll post this quote from time to time. Good idea?

Why Sins? -- Part 3

Archery term. Sin. To the left. You missed the mark! You're not a bad person, you're not going to hell.

Church and Community have loaded the word with artificially high levels of negativity. We think of Sin as something which, once committed, is a stain, a low-water mark in our lives.

Better to regard it as Something to Avoid instead of Something to Cultivate. As we delve more deeply into the Other Deadly Sins, keep that in mind.

Something else to keep in mind: Words are only pointers.

Why Deadly? -- Part 2

Luxuria, Superbia, Gula, Ira, Invidia, Avaritia, & Acedia. Sounds like an Italian law firm, but no. These are the traditional Seven Deadly Sins in Latin.

The Catholic Church considered them deadly because they destroyed a life of grace and threatened eternal damnation to those who indulged. At one time, the church could, for a price, help out with some of the lesser sins. You pays your money and you gets your indulgences.

The 4 Deadly Sins -- Part 1

We all commit them. We all know them. We all adore them.

The Four Deadly Sins. Not part of the Seven. Nothing quite that obvious and avoidable. Feeling Lusty? Go to the gym and sweat it off. Feeling Gluttonous? Get thee to a Weight Watchers meeting!

No, these four are particularly deadly because they are so common. In fact, most people might defend them as natural, normal, human. And they are. They are also insidious.

They are also deadly.

They are deadly to our peace. They are deadly to our joy. They kill our serenity.