Accidents -- Part 13

Have you ever been in a car accident? What's the first thing your Mind starts doing? I mean after it's all over and you're sitting there waiting for the police.

Most of us start assigning blame. Either blaming the other person, the mailbox, that bush that hid the mailbox...sometimes we even blame ourselves. Rare, but we do.

How long until the blaming starts getting downright operatic? That's where the "if only" scenarios come in. If only I had not stopped for that latte, I wouldn't have crashed into this guy.

Like in the movie "Sliding Doors" where the heroine's life splits into two different stories based on whether or not she misses her train.

These mind games are perfect fodder for hours of pointless thinking.

Red Lights -- Part 12

You're late! We're all late from time to time. How do we react? Do we blame it on another driver, a wrong turn, bad directions, unreasonable traffic? How about that red light that never seems to change?

Red lights are a wonderful opportunity to practice presence. Mostly we approach them as a pause or a delay in our trip. They are certainly that as far as Mind is concerned.

So we wait. And when we wait we waste. We waste the precious present moment, the only thing there ever is...because we are waiting to get to the next moment. The one where we can take our foot off the brake and accelerate forward. On to the destination!

What ever happened to "It's The Journey That Matters, Not The Destination.?"

Blaming -- Part 11

Watch it!

To begin, just notice when you blame something on something else. It's perfectly normal and natural. And very destructive to our peace.

I'm not saying that you should not try to figure out the root cause of something you wish to change. Let's say you're on a diet, losing weight quite nicely. Then you hit a plateau!

Was it a change you made? Did you substitute Coke for Diet Coke? Or is it just the naturally occurring pause that most weight loss takes? It helps to know. Even if it turns out to be a co-worker tempting you with a home baked muffin every morning.

But our reaction is what counts. If it has negative energy behind it, look out! "Ah-hah! They are out to sabotage my success! I'll fix them!!"

This is blaming at its most potent.

Naming Leads to Blaming -- Part 10

Many meditators have experienced the difficulty: you are trying to "meditate" and be present when you suddenly find yourself thinking. A typical instruction is to simply notice, "thinking" and then move back to being present.

Naming this activity, however, often leads the meditator to blame the thinking or label it "bad." Pema Chodron has remarked that we need to train with gentleness so that the noticing does not lead to strong Naming and then Blaming ourselves for not staying present.

"Oh, there I go again, I can't meditate, I keep thinking!" By naming the activity we have found ourselves blaming it and ourselves. Stop the madness!